Hello everyone I'm Matthew Q. Llewellyn and this is today's solar system news.
On planet earth, American President Barack Obama won a number of awards, some of which were very close calls. They included, but are not limited to, Miss Teen USA 2010, Country Musician of the year 2012 and for his epic performance in a movie that will come out later in his career, an Emmy for Male Actor of the Year.
In non-planetary news, Earth began many offensives today but not without discontent from neighboring alliances. After the Earth Solar Command at NASA launched an attack against the moon, Venus released a press statement suggesting that if such attacks did not immediately cease, it would take aggressive action to defend the Moon. The attack on the Moon has come after thousands of years of conflict between the Moon and planet Earth. The Earth has long held its desire for the Moon to become a permanent fixture in its daily life. The Moon has rejected Earth's request and still leaves Earth high and dry every 10-14 hours. An official at Earth Solar Command who wished to remain anonymous said NASA intends to begin preparing a missile defense shield to protect it from Venusian launched attacks, and that NASA would strike in full force if Venus officials acted on hostile threats towards Earth.
Nearly two years have passed and Mars still refuses to turn over information about the mysterious face that some have come to call "Mars Man". Earth intelligence believes Martian leaders are using the face to cover up a clandestine factory which may be manufacturing weapons of mass destruction. In a press release prepared by Earth Solar Command officials at NASA, top administrations officials say they have placed Mars on economic restrictions and have officially put them on notice.
In other news, a forgotten planet is not happy about its solar status, and it seems it's not alone. Pluto has announced that it will apply to the Intrasolar Alliance and demand its full planetary status be restored. Pluto, which was a planet long before the Alliance was formed, lost its status as a planet after its rising surface temperature was found to be caused by Plutonian abuse of SUV's, and not solar flares. Coming to the defense of Pluto were Callisto and Ganymede, Jupiter's largest moons. Both Callisto and Ganymede, being similar is size to Pluto, believe they should also receive full planetary status, despite their obvious Jupiterian rotation.
That's all for tonight's... I'm sorry... just a moment please... I'm receiving a breaking news update.
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This just in from the Intrasolar Alliance, Earth's American President, Barack Obama has just won the Man of the Solar System Award for 2009.
That's all for tonight's news folks. From all of us here at Inside The Mind Of Matt, I'm Matthew Q. Llewellyn, and I bid you good day.
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